The Most Important Resolution of All, To Me

Of all the promises I can make to myself, there is one that casts its powers over all the others.
In the past, I’ve resolved to lose weight, stop smoking, be more positive. I’ve stepped forward into the New Year with thoughts to learn Spanish, better food habits, or incorporate more exercise into my life. I’ve promised to stop making lists.
I’ve tried the images of releasing fear, embracing compassion, and halting my co-dependent tendencies.
I’ve vowed to finish the four novels of my Sacred Bundle Series, visit sick friends, be a better wife, mother, daughter, and grandmother.
I’ve hung prayer arrows to release bad habits or bad thoughts and fashioned ones to point me toward brighter days.
I’ve written pages of explanations to myself and others trying to make amends for hurts I’ve caused, confidences I’ve betrayed. Then I’ve burned them in the New Year’s Eve fire to let go of the guilt that held me immobile for years.
I’ve made the intention to re-establish relationships with my husband, children, and grandchildren, my mother and my sister friends. Our coming back together is important to me. What I’ve discovered is that the relationships and communications have to be important to both of us, or it doesn’t move any closer.
I’ve also discovered that all the promises I’ve made to improve myself, to be healthier, to be a better listener, doer, and person won’t work unless I believe in and accept the individual I am right here, right now.
I am incapable of changing any part of myself until I sink into the beingness who is me on this Earth plane, at this time, in this moment.
Here is where it begins.
So, in 2010, in my 65th year, I officially resolve to love myself, all of me, every attitude and habit, every grey hair and bald spot, each wrinkle, all my aches and pains, and my very complicated world view. It means I love my skills, my integrity, my honesty, my passions, my forgetfulness, my intentions and desires. I love me, and from that, all else is free to flow.