Co-Creating

So what do I do when I feel my hands are tied? Meaning I can't do anything about anything? It's been the toughest scenario to accept. Surely I can make something happen the way I want it to if I work hard enough, pray harder. I always think I can take away misery with enough compassion. I can get a person who is like an immovable object to levitate, a little. Certainly I should be able to change the course of tragedy, bring smiles to everyone's face, make their lives a little lighter, just by my presence. At least, that seems to have been my plan for a very long time.

What is occurring to me is best stated with the curious slang word, “Fooey!” It seems to me to be a contraction of FOOL ME! That's what I've decided I've been doing: Fooling Myself.

Granted, I might have some impact on a person or persons around me. I can give temporary relief from a gray mood or a disappointed attitude. The best thing I think I can do at this time is pray to help me leave my friends to their own pace.

I heard a phrase once; “Love means you have no expectation of your friends' emotional, mental, physical, or spiritual development. That's it. No expectations. I've had the hardest time with this until I began letting go of my expectations, druthers, judgments and began going with the flow. This doesn't mean I 'don't stay conscious of my responses and responsibilities. “Hanging out” doesn't mean relinquishing self-respect, integrity, and personal boundaries. It does mean being open to possibilities and deciding to relinquish control by letting others have a say in what they want to do – or eat – or watch – or play.

When I can do this, I'm always amazed at what I learn, what new music or thoughts I hear, what different foods I get to eat. It's enlivening, like climbing out of a rut and looking at possibilities as endless as the horizon in Montana. Life actually gets creative, and I benefit so much for having let go of the rudder of the life boat. It's like co-creating the day's experiences, and I feel blessed. My hands are no longer tied over any issue. I don't have to push my agenda, and, what do you know, but my going with the flow seems to help others feel empowered, brings smiles to their faces. We have a shared relationship.

Instead of FOOEY, life becomes WHAHOOEY!