Human beings on the whole exhibit a lot of fear about their future. When I think about it, isn't this the main reason for building bigger houses, to encase ourselves in some kind of solid space we can call our own? Isn't this the reason we amass toys and gadgets to divert our attention from the 'what ifs'? And what about addictions to TV, drugs, gambling, sugar, coffee, or any thing to keep us focused on anything rather than the unknown?
One of the coping mechanisms I've discovered is the technique of forming stories with happy endings, just to give myself hope. I find myself skipping across the potential details of my near future to a place where my novel is successful, where I'm busy writing the next one with a covey of friends flittering about. The day dream helps me through the downright, stark and blazing fear of what the next months, or few years, may bring. I can't handle the details my minds trips over as I try to look over (overlook) the pictures of oxygen tanks, home health nurses, special diets, dashed hopes, and sleepless nights.
I can't go there, and to daydream myself past it all, well, it's really a farce too.
Cherishing the 'now' moments is again the theme. I'm planning as if there is a tomorrow, you know, the one right after today and working at being conscious of the small treasures of the current 'here'.
Blue jays fluttering through their morning bath and squabbling when one tries to move through the queue before their time. A hummingbird upside down so it can nose into the contorted last bloom of a day lily. Fresh ollalieberries for a cobbler. A bobcat sauntering across the driveway. The peace rose with more than two blooms for the first time in years. My first zucchini of the season.
Life comes down to precious moments cobbled together as a path making its way through the disaster of sorrow and fear.
I agree life is about the precious moments Earlene...in the end it is all we have anyway?
ReplyDeleteBlessings to You and Yours!