Tuesday, July 10, 2012

A Lesson From My Mom


The day after July 4th, I found myself singing in my nightshirt as the hot water dripped through the coffer and filter.  All the while I was dancing to “Put a Little Love in Your Heart”.  After a few repetitions, I stopped and asked myself, “What happened?”
For several days prior to the holiday and for a brief moment on the day, I had been having a tough time, or rather, I had given myself a tough time.  In retrospect, the Fourth was a lot easier than the day before and the night between them.  So on that morning, I had to ask myself, “How did I get from whimpering loneliness through pissy anger to a morning song about love?”
            Had it been Divine Intervention?  I surely had prayed long and hard enough over those days and nights.  No doubt there was some kind of helping hand there, although I also believe in the power of naming and releasing, something prayer also accomplishes.
            Maybe my stars had been out of alignment or something had hiccoughed in the Universal Plan?  If I had called my friends who are sensitive to these things (as I am) would we have compared notes and discovered we were all struggling through some mental tar pit?
            Perhaps it just the nature of grief and me facing change and another solitary holiday?  If so, then I realize now I have my mother to thank for the very practical solution to the downer I experienced on everyone elses’ Fourth of July Celebration.        
            After marching behind the Grandmothers for Peace float in the Willit’s parade and singing Holly Near’s song, “1000 Grandmothers for Peace”, I came home to my empty house and plummeted.  Family was in all different directions.  Friends I’d invited for a grilled meal had other obligations, and there I was, starting to pull the familiar grey quilt, I’d already been huddling under, over my head.
            My wise mom, who had weathered years of a husband overseas as a Marine and 24 hour duty as a policeman, didn’t just whisper in my ear.  She shouted, “Pretend today isn’t a holiday.”
            So I washed clothes and swept floors.  I finished sewing five pillow cases for Hospice and ironed them.  (Since the generator was on for the washer, I had plenty of power.)  I hemmed the two new scarves I’d created out of remnant material.  I turned on the radio (something I rarely do because I got out of the habit while Y was alive as he didn’t like the noise.)  I listened to a special on Woody Guthrie and learned more than I ever knew about his music and political activism.  After I ate my grilled pork chop and corn, with a smattering of homemade potato salad, I settled in the recliner with the computer in my lap and watched a movie.  (My TV has died.)
            I made it through the day without another tear or a moment of self pity.  I realigned my own stars, changed my perspective, and went to bed blessing my mom.  No wonder I woke up singing!

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