A Birthday Note to Me and You

Yup, it’s official, I’m 71 today. A little worse for wear, but I’m so grateful I’m still upright with fairly decent posture. Amazingly, the world hasn’t beaten me down, just worn me out a bit. When I look in the mirror, I can see my hair is more frazzled and gray than it has ever been. The crinkles around my eyes are deeper, and I hope they’re from laughing rather than squinting. The wrinkles around my mouth which began to form when I was smoking cigarettes have begun to smooth now that thirty years have passed since I quit the habit. I can also hope it’s because I’m pouting less and not twisting my mouth in disapproval over someone else’s actions.

My most taxing challenge right now is trying to keep up to date with the world of technology. I suppose it might be less of a problem if I wasn’t trying to make something out of myself by creating an author’s platform so I can present my next novel to the world and have more than 75 people interested in it. (That’s how many I personally know of who bought or read my first novel in the Sacred Bundle Series.) I find myself clawing my way up a tremendously steep learning curve to deal with social media and the do’s and don’ts of advertising. Quite a challenge. Thanks goodness I have some ‘go to’ people for help.

Joining the Emandal Chorale was one of the wisest things I ever did. Singing every week for an hour and a half has been a Godsend. At first, I struggled to remember words and tunes and rhythms and put them all together into a convincing performance. If I didn’t remember the words, I was advised to mouth the phrase, “Watermelon Woman” and that it would look like I was singing the words to the song without interrupting the flow of what everyone else was singing. I had to use that trick a few times.

Now I can honestly say there are new pathways in my brain that allow me to learn the words faster while clapping and side-stepping in a coherent rhythm with everyone else. If I don’t, I just giggle, stop, and start again with those around me. Mistakes are ok as long as they aren’t repeated in a performance. My memory improvements are even spilling over into my real life. I can track where I might have left something with greater ease instead of spending an hour searching. Going to the store without the list is easier as I only leave off one or two items and only buy one or two unnecessary things.

Challenges seem mostly to be in the relationship area. My mother has shifted positions with me, as she is now incapable of fulfilling her role as the mother I have known. She’s still the woman who birthed me; it’s just that her mind is elsewhere now, and she just isn’t there for sharing.  It’s OK; I’m learning to let her be while I provide care for her needs and wants. Time spent with my daughter and son and their families has reduced itself to my dropping by on my way between No. California and the Monterey area where my mom lives in her Skilled Nursing Facility. I keep track of my step-son, Steve, and his wife, as well as my grandchildren via Facebook. I suppose they all do the same thing with me. It is a handy tool for that.

Being at the end of a three year relationship with a man-friend has brought a whole lot of processing and re-thinking the idea of a close friendship in the future. Reviewing match.com and plentyoffish.com showed me, by the leaden weight which took up residence in the pit of my stomach, that I wasn’t ready to put myself out there. I seem to be happy writing my novels, working on my web site, sewing my funky pot holders, funky little bags, and crazy lap quilts, in between hanging out with friends and fellow singers. My volunteering has reduced itself too, and I’ve closed my Reiki office and will see clients out of the back office of a local chiropractor. I often do Reiki sessions for friends in my living room. My classes are now down to four a year, but I’m considering doing a couple different and special seminars once a year.

What’s in my future? I hope ball room and swing dancing lessons, more singing, finishing my novel series and other writing projects, traveling, swimming with dolphins, sitting around a camp fire and telling stories, learning to fly fish and maybe golf, going to ceremony with old and new friends, meeting new people, riding a train across country, getting more massages, learning to cook Thai food, walking along the beach, listening to more live concerts, watching more sunrises and sunsets, and any other experiences as they come across my path. I don’t want more things. (I actually want to give some away and keep trying to do just that. Thank goodness for the thrift shops.) I want experiences, and I aim to find them.

If I had any complaints, they would have to include (1) how poundage seems to gather within my skin without my even trying to accumulate it, (2) how exercise has to have a commitment or it falls to the wayside without a whimper, (3) how one seems to need a doctor’s expertise more frequently as we age, and (4) how taxes still have to be done yearly and paid.

All in all, those aren’t that bad. Yup, I’m 71, and, believe it or not, I’m not cranky about it. I’m beginning to believe I will probably make it to 72 and beyond with a sense of adventure and hopefully a sense of humor.