Suggestion and Direction

“Take a risk” my horoscope says for today. My heart chatters in my chest like false teeth in a cartoon. “What kind of risk?” I ask myself. What more of a risk is there than me deciding to stay in my mountain home and learn how to survive alone.

“Ooops, reframe, Earlene,” I tell myself. I think: learn how to survive on my own.

I thought I had survived enough risks what with Momma Bear and her two cubs trying to climb onto the deck. Luckily the new railing installed the weekend before Y passed by two of his brothers was strong enough to deter the invasion.

Reglueing the gasket on the refrigerator door after four weeks of waiting for help was daunting. Yet, I managed to keep the gorilla snot recommended to me by a helpful advisor off the floor and myself and to spread it along the gaskets lengths around the door so that sucker would know I meant it to stick.

Going to a community dance and working in the kitchen was risky for me, as was helping out at the community Christmas dinner. I was afraid I would appear disloyal to Y. My attending a wedding reception at a country club was also a step outside my self image of a newly widowed woman.

And then there has been climbing on the roof to clean the stove pipe, driving in Monterey and Bay Area traffic, and bringing out my first novel, The Marriage Bundle.

What other possible risk could the stars be suggesting?

I read the rest of the email that’s arrived this morning and find a forward from a friend. There’s a poetry reading scheduled at the Muse in Willits this Sunday. A local author is being honored and, afterward, anyone else is invited to read some of their work. My body shivers and my heart repeats its chattering in my chest. I have a chap book of poems called, My Family Album.

Interesting how a suggestion and a direction arrived on the same day.