The Selling Process

     Years ago when I was pregnant with my first child and my first husband was facing an overseas transfer, we put our mobile home up for sale.  I can remember the tension growing as weeks passed and no one made an offer on our 10 foot wide, wood-paneled home.  He would stand at the front window over the kitchen sink, looking at the road that angled through Green Acres Trailer Park asking, “Doesn’t anybody want to buy my mobile home?”

     I don’t remember being that anxious over finding a buyer when I sold my Watsonville three bedroom home perched at the back of a cul de sac.  It seemed to sell in no time, especially with the help of the neighbors who passed the word to friends.

     Selling my current home and acreage now is a mixture of confidence and anxiety.  I do believe it’s time for me to come off this mountain.  I know I no longer want to pull maintenance on the generator, clean the two-story chimney, police the long stretch of ditches, or carry a saw in the car in case a tree comes down over the road in a storm.

     Making that decision has taken what seems like an eternity as I’ve loosened the grip of all the reasons why I and my second husband relocated here and built this  house from scratch.  The reasons were logical at the time, since we both were in our 30s with vim and vigor and ideals.  The ideals remain, and I search each day for the energy and desire to continue caring for all the details of the systems designed to maintain my comfort while I live ‘off the grid’.

     I still desire of living with intention but am resolved to express it in other ways.  I’m ready to develop a life style where I continue to conserve electricity and water, recycle, reuse, and reduce waste.

     Because there have been less than a handful of interested buyers with no offers, I sometimes want to ask the same question my first husband did in 1970 in Colorado.  It’s not a lament.  I perceive my question more as an announcement every morning when I take out the food offering to the resident ravens.  Then I return to sorting through out-buildings and closets and drawers.  Someone will buy someday, when it’s time.