I really have to admit, life is brighter.
Now whether that’s because I got tired of whining and got myself off the couch, I couldn’t say. There have been many different influences involved in this new consideration toward life. I’ll name a few:
1. The realization that quite a number of people were standing on one foot then another just waiting to be asked to help me hit me between the eyes. Similar to my misunderstanding regarding my late husband’s telepathic power, this misinterpretation of my friends and family plunked me straight into an attitude “if you don’t know what I want, then I’m not going to tell you.” A person can drown if they keep their noses so far in the air during a downpour. Hence, I am now asking for help. (A daunting task, I might add, since I was raised a ‘do it yourself’ kind of girl)
2. The acceptance that I am the creator of my fate came with more ramifications than I had ever considered. Suffice it to say, I’ve experienced (in a recent Avatar training) the profound feelings around this world view. I’ve had to take responsibility for all those actions I blamed on someone else and deal with the shame and remorse, and then I got to embrace the freedom in realizing I can choose whatever I want to experience and create it. That’s heady stuff.
3. Somewhere in there I had the chance to look at myself and come to the decision “I’m happy to be me!” Bubbles of giggles rise to the surface inside of me when I truly feel this statement.
4. Time has passed since so many devastating losses began in 2009. Although I was positioned to look at all these with blame for something I might have done to make them happen, I was also in a place to see that these things just happened. People move on from this life, this town, this environment, my friendship. They are just doing their lives. I have learned that I must too.
There is one more thing. I now have a tool to express compassion for myself as well as everyone I meet or I know. This has been a real gift. If you’re interested, I can send you the wording in a private email. Just let me know you want it by posting me at reiki@mcn.org
As I watch sun rays touch and caress special objects around my home or just light up a corner of my living room in a loving way, my heart thrills. I may not know where I’m going yet, but I do know where I’ve been, and I know where I am!
What a blessing.
Happy New Year.
