I am working to break a bad habit. I have
had myself convinced that waking up in the morning and checking my email and
Facebook accounts is a good thing. The check-in keeps me connected, right?
Reading the astrological and numerological projections for the day offer me a
perspective of what will be what, right?
Finding out what’s happening in the world
at large and with my friends, who are still included in my news feed, is good,
right? Clicking through the various quotes, news articles, animal pictures, etc.
opens my mind, right? At least that’s what I’ve been telling myself for almost
a year now.
What I am noticing though is that the
quotes and stories are repeating themselves. More and more bits of news of friends
and family are becoming less and less. Instead I am seeing advertisements for bags
and tunics, diets, courses, exercises. Thank goodness I am no longer getting
all the anti-aging cream ads. I fell for that once and was $400 in debt before
the end of the month because there was no fine print that told me to withdraw
from the weekly automatic ordering and payment options (after the first free
sample).
I have learned many lessons on Facebook.
If it’s advertised for free, it probably isn’t. If it said only one left, it is
only one of many.
An increasing annoyance is the assumption
that I want to join someone’s group. I find myself signed up and then I do not
know how to get off the frequent postings of those who are members. One woman’s
group had over 1500 members. They all seemed to have nothing better to do than
chat all day. I got every one of them until I begged out of that endless
conversation.
The reason I jumped on to the FB bandwagon
was to keep up with family. In recent months they have not been posting at all.
Perhaps they changed to Twitter or Instagram. This grandmother has decided to
let it go. If they want to communicate with me, we can text, email, or, prepare
for a heretical thought, talk on the phone.
Over this last month, I have fallen into
the bad habit of lying in bed first thing in the morning and checking messages
and posts because of, well, many reasons. In the first place, it’s cold before the furnace
heats the house. But that's only one of them. I also
believe I was trying to ignore the empty feeling of being disconnected from
individuals I hold dear. I wanted to stave off the hunger for connection to
human contact without leaving home. I did not realize I was stuffing my mind
with other’s thoughts rather than mining the fields of my own memories and creativity.
In effect, I was negating my personal
observations, perceptions, and creativity. I was also losing precious time by not
living in my moment.
The last two books of my series are in
disarray and unfinished while I have paid sole attention to what other people
were and are creating.
A quote this morning from Suzanne Wagner’s
“Daily Ideas and Aspirations” hit me between the eyes: “You are special because you have been
given the greatest gift of life. And that gift requires you to give back.”
