Flying next to the post office in
Laytonville, there is a special-to-me American flag. It's been raised every
morning and lowered every evening for less than four years. It’s faded and
frayed. I thought it would last forever. But I guess they don't make them like
they used to or maybe the wind’s been stronger than ever and the rain wetter,
the sun hotter. For me it’s been a beacon, something I could count on seeing
whenever I went into town. I no longer live in Laytonville and I’ve learned
that the flag is going to go to its own rest and be replaced. Now, I feel I can
tell its story. It feels a little like offering the eulogy at a memorial for a
special person in my life or saying a few words before a building or a ship is
going to be demolished.
After August, 2010, when my husband,
Yuwach, passed away, I received mounds of paperwork from the Veterans’ Administration.
In between forms there came a voucher for an American flag. Y had served in the
32nd Infantry Division of the Wisconsin National Guard beginning in
1959. In 1963, his division was activated during the Berlin Crisis. He and his
new wife moved to Parkland, WA. That's when he discovered there was something
more than cold winters and outrageous summer humidity. He was on active duty
for a year, then finished his military commitment while attending Tacoma
Vocational Technical Institute.
I don’t know what made me fill out and
return the voucher for the flag but I did. A month later I was called to come
to the VA office in Ukiah to receive this symbol of The United States Of
America. As I drove to the offices, I still pondered the question of what in
the world was I doing? Both Y and I had believed in peaceful negotiation.
Neither of us had thought that showing “might was right” was a way for our
country to be in the world. In fact we both agreed that capitalism and
democracy were causing our government to see war as a way to prop up the
economy when other methods didn’t work.
When the head of the local VA department
brought the brown cardboard box out, I asked for another moment to prepare
myself to receive this gift. I had to sit down in the midst of photos of our
current president and the regalia often seen in military establishments. Each
item on the walls and on pedestals were familiar to me, and I realized my life
had been affected by the military since before I was born. My dad had been a
top sergeant in the Marines and had served for almost thirty years before
retiring. He had served in Iwo Jima, Korea, and the Philippines. When he died,
he had not wanted any ceremony or flag. My first husband had retired from the
Army and had served in Korea after that war and in Viet Nam during that one.
Y’s son, Steve Gleisner, had served in the Navy where he held a high-level
security position on a nuclear submarine as a Cryptographic Radioman from 1981
- 1984.
I stood and nodded that I was ready. I
remember tears filling my eyes and emotion clutching at my chest as I told the
man I was accepting the flag in honor of all the men in my life who had donned
a military uniform and gone off to do their part in keeping the USA free,
whether I agreed with the sentiment any more or not. They had been willing to
change their lives for a dream of making it a safer place. Their decision had
been selfless. Each one of them had wanted to be a part of the greater good.
So I accepted the flag and wondered all
the way home, what was I going to do with it? Put it on a shelf? Display it in
a cabinet or hang it from the balcony? It was huge!
One day I took a good look at the flag
outside the local post office and saw in 2010 that it was fraying at the edges
and coming loose from one of its grommets. I asked the head clerk if they were
going to get a new one soon. She said there was so much need for flags for
coffins of vets from Iraq and Afghanistan, post offices were way down on the list
to receive new ones. They'd been on the waiting list for over six months.
I asked if one could be donated. She said
they’d never had one donated before but if it had the appropriate grommets, the
flag would be gratefully received.
I thought about it and brought it in the
next week. The flag honoring four of the five important men in my life had found a home. Now it too
has done it's job and can be retired.
