With the advent of my mother's descent into dementia, I am slowed in my walk through life much as I was when I ambled with first one toddler, then the second one, hanging onto my finger as they learned to put one stubby foot in front of the other.
I'm looking forward to slowing way down again with this newest grandchild so we can investigate a tuft of grass (taste testing as we go at times), sow bugs (illusive balls of shiny armor when touched), caterpillars (squishy messes when pinched), and oh, so many other wonderful things on the ground.
Walking with my mom is an exercise now in the overview. We watch the wind blow through the firs, the changing pattern of the sun casting shadows, the contours of clouds scattering across the sky.
Where children seek to know everything in their paths, my mother seems to be looking at something beyond this spot in life and time. It's as if she's searching for the way to ascend into her place as a heavenly spirit.
I'm praying to reside somewhere in the middle, between the grounded view of the little one and the sky view of the old one. I'm hoping to be that point of balance in the middle.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
About the Novels
Walking in balance is a foundational teaching for all indigenous peoples. Early nations’ writings, whether they be memories documented of elders from all over the world or the retelling of ancient tribal stories, show this basic tenet to be universal.
Disease is believed to be brought by disharmony, and this can be the disease in a human’s body or of their surroundings.
So, as I’ve listened and sat in ceremony for the last 30 years, this teaching has become a personal goal.
Seven years ago, “Balance Point” dropped off a shelf at a used book store into my hands. Now, who could ignore that kind of synchronistic event?
It’s an odd book, only because it seems like fiction. It isn’t. It’s a true life adventure that brings together research and conclusions regarding the devastation of our Earth and the current decline of our society. The best thing about the book is that Joseph Jenkins gives us the gloom and doom as well as offering simple solutions for balance in our lives. His presentation was and is an inspiration to me, one that urged me to tell my own kind of story about balance.
I’ve taken it a bit farther in The Sacred Bundle Series. The four books in this circular tale are not just about economic, political, and environmental balance. They are about personal balance and seeking balance in all relationships, whether it be with ourselves, our significant other or other people, with our spiritual path, or with our Earth.
If you get a chance to take a look at Jenkins’ work, I’d love to hear what you think about it. The web site for his work is www.jenkinspublishing.com. If you’d like to download a free couple pages of “The Marriage Bundle”, the first novel of my series, please visit my web site at www.standinginbalance.com.
You’ll also get put on the list of interested readers and have the opportunity to pre-order a copy for yourself at a discounted price.
Disease is believed to be brought by disharmony, and this can be the disease in a human’s body or of their surroundings.
So, as I’ve listened and sat in ceremony for the last 30 years, this teaching has become a personal goal.
Seven years ago, “Balance Point” dropped off a shelf at a used book store into my hands. Now, who could ignore that kind of synchronistic event?
It’s an odd book, only because it seems like fiction. It isn’t. It’s a true life adventure that brings together research and conclusions regarding the devastation of our Earth and the current decline of our society. The best thing about the book is that Joseph Jenkins gives us the gloom and doom as well as offering simple solutions for balance in our lives. His presentation was and is an inspiration to me, one that urged me to tell my own kind of story about balance.
I’ve taken it a bit farther in The Sacred Bundle Series. The four books in this circular tale are not just about economic, political, and environmental balance. They are about personal balance and seeking balance in all relationships, whether it be with ourselves, our significant other or other people, with our spiritual path, or with our Earth.
If you get a chance to take a look at Jenkins’ work, I’d love to hear what you think about it. The web site for his work is www.jenkinspublishing.com. If you’d like to download a free couple pages of “The Marriage Bundle”, the first novel of my series, please visit my web site at www.standinginbalance.com.
You’ll also get put on the list of interested readers and have the opportunity to pre-order a copy for yourself at a discounted price.
Monday, June 7, 2010
We See What We Want To See
Years ago I read about an experiment in a science magazine with instructions to stand at the edge of a robust meadow and looked at the flowers. Sounded fun, so I did. First, I told myself to see the yellow blooms, and I marveled at how many were scattered throughout the green grasses. Then I suggested to myself to view the blue ones. My eyesight shifted and mostly blue blossoms emerged before me. I did that with the color purple then pink, red then white. Each time I suggested a color to myself, that's what I saw. It was difficult to encompass them all. Scanning as an overview did not give me the opportunity to see the details, but I did comprehend clusters here and there as well as the magnitude of the meadow.
I really can't remember the point of the article any more, but the experiment showed me something that has come in handy in my 'Choosing to Change' Seminar, as well as in my private practice as a Personal Growth Facilitator. Human beings have the tendency to focus attention on one thing at a time. This is not only true with flowers but with perceptions and attitudes. If I want to view a situation as fearful, I can. Everything about the people, the environment, even the weather, the color of the sky, the sounds around me, will be scary.
Movie directors do this on purpose to make us get the adrenaline rush they want us to have.
We also choose to do it to ourselves. We look for the elements in our lives that will keep us fearful or hesitant or angry. Pollyanas look on the bright side of life because they choose to. Pessimists look for the negatives.
Someone said, “The only thing in life one can change is one's attitude.” It goes farther than that. Once I get an idea about my life or someone else or something I want, I can feed that perception or decision, because I will only see what I want to see, what I program myself to see. Stepping out of any 'way' of thinking takes courage to want to change the vision, the attitude.
Just like standing at the edge of the flowered meadow, I can stand at the edge of my life and decide to see rosy opportunities rather than weedy walls or rutty sameness. It's up to each of us to decide what we want to see.
I really can't remember the point of the article any more, but the experiment showed me something that has come in handy in my 'Choosing to Change' Seminar, as well as in my private practice as a Personal Growth Facilitator. Human beings have the tendency to focus attention on one thing at a time. This is not only true with flowers but with perceptions and attitudes. If I want to view a situation as fearful, I can. Everything about the people, the environment, even the weather, the color of the sky, the sounds around me, will be scary.
Movie directors do this on purpose to make us get the adrenaline rush they want us to have.
We also choose to do it to ourselves. We look for the elements in our lives that will keep us fearful or hesitant or angry. Pollyanas look on the bright side of life because they choose to. Pessimists look for the negatives.
Someone said, “The only thing in life one can change is one's attitude.” It goes farther than that. Once I get an idea about my life or someone else or something I want, I can feed that perception or decision, because I will only see what I want to see, what I program myself to see. Stepping out of any 'way' of thinking takes courage to want to change the vision, the attitude.
Just like standing at the edge of the flowered meadow, I can stand at the edge of my life and decide to see rosy opportunities rather than weedy walls or rutty sameness. It's up to each of us to decide what we want to see.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
In the Night
My home is as familiar to me in the lonely night as it is in a busy day. In fact, I may know the toe-catching corners better and avoid them with more ease than in my hurry-up day mode.
I know my kitchen, bathroom, and living room more intimately because I wander there more frequently these nights at 2 or 3, 4 or 5am. On the Full Moon, when this transitioning spot light casts shadows across the linoleum floor, I can see every piece of furniture, undone project, and paper pile in three dimension. On New Moon nights, I have to use my sixth sense or allow my eyes to adjust to the subtle beams from the multitudes of stars hanging out in the sky.
Night time used to be a harrowing time to be awake because I worked an eight to ten hour job. Now that I'm retired and retreaded and work from home, I have an improved attitude about my wakefulness, while ticking clocks keep me company.
I would like to think of night as the other side of day, but in some areas of cities, there's more activity in the darkness. The desert has more animals roaming. The trees may seem to slumber but they can dance in a wind just as flirtatiously as in daylight.
My mind is just as active. I can work myself up into a good worry or have endless conversations which include variations of all the things I should have said or want to say. Prayer comes easier at night, for family, friends, the state of the Earth and governments. Most nights my mind is tugging my heart into constant prayer about wars, oil spills, our economy. Only after my pleas for peaceful co-existence, salvation for our water, and stabilization of financial institutions will I pray for my health, my home, my family, then comes the specific prayers.
Maybe I should pray for the end to greed first. It seems to be the bottom line of our most recent catastrophes. Then I can offer my most frequent prayer for those suffering from lack of food, water, clothes, and shelter, to be touched by the love of the Divine, however they name him or her, especially if they are awake in the darkness too and feeling alone.
I know my kitchen, bathroom, and living room more intimately because I wander there more frequently these nights at 2 or 3, 4 or 5am. On the Full Moon, when this transitioning spot light casts shadows across the linoleum floor, I can see every piece of furniture, undone project, and paper pile in three dimension. On New Moon nights, I have to use my sixth sense or allow my eyes to adjust to the subtle beams from the multitudes of stars hanging out in the sky.
Night time used to be a harrowing time to be awake because I worked an eight to ten hour job. Now that I'm retired and retreaded and work from home, I have an improved attitude about my wakefulness, while ticking clocks keep me company.
I would like to think of night as the other side of day, but in some areas of cities, there's more activity in the darkness. The desert has more animals roaming. The trees may seem to slumber but they can dance in a wind just as flirtatiously as in daylight.
My mind is just as active. I can work myself up into a good worry or have endless conversations which include variations of all the things I should have said or want to say. Prayer comes easier at night, for family, friends, the state of the Earth and governments. Most nights my mind is tugging my heart into constant prayer about wars, oil spills, our economy. Only after my pleas for peaceful co-existence, salvation for our water, and stabilization of financial institutions will I pray for my health, my home, my family, then comes the specific prayers.
Maybe I should pray for the end to greed first. It seems to be the bottom line of our most recent catastrophes. Then I can offer my most frequent prayer for those suffering from lack of food, water, clothes, and shelter, to be touched by the love of the Divine, however they name him or her, especially if they are awake in the darkness too and feeling alone.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Where Do Babies Come From?
If you've ever had small children, you remember when this question came up. Traditionally its usually asked in public. My daughter presented this question in a check-out line in Longs when she was five years old. Everyone snickered and waited for my answer. I wanted to say Cincinnati to get a laugh but decided to play it straight and answered “from its mommie's belly”, then quickly added the question, “Do you want gum or candy?” to divert her attention.
The question is more philosophical to me now. I know where the physical and genetically inbred body of my new granddaughter came from and how.
But looking into the wisdom of her deep brown eyes, I wonder at the spirit learning to live there. Where did that knowingness come from? What could she tell me if she had the words to speak? What is she trying to convey to me that I'm even intuitively unable to comprehend?
These are no real answers, only the wonder of her small, perfect hands and feet, the miracle of her sweet breath, the softness of the top of her ears and her skin.
I can only glory in the innocent presence of Bella Spencer in my life and be grateful for the chance to see her grow.
The question is more philosophical to me now. I know where the physical and genetically inbred body of my new granddaughter came from and how.
But looking into the wisdom of her deep brown eyes, I wonder at the spirit learning to live there. Where did that knowingness come from? What could she tell me if she had the words to speak? What is she trying to convey to me that I'm even intuitively unable to comprehend?
These are no real answers, only the wonder of her small, perfect hands and feet, the miracle of her sweet breath, the softness of the top of her ears and her skin.
I can only glory in the innocent presence of Bella Spencer in my life and be grateful for the chance to see her grow.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Co-Creating
So what do I do when I feel my hands are tied? Meaning I can't do anything about anything? It's been the toughest scenario to accept. Surely I can make something happen the way I want it to if I work hard enough, pray harder. I always think I can take away misery with enough compassion. I can get a person who is like an immovable object to levitate, a little. Certainly I should be able to change the course of tragedy, bring smiles to everyone's face, make their lives a little lighter, just by my presence. At least, that seems to have been my plan for a very long time.
What is occurring to me is best stated with the curious slang word, “Fooey!” It seems to me to be a contraction of FOOL ME! That's what I've decided I've been doing: Fooling Myself.
Granted, I might have some impact on a person or persons around me. I can give temporary relief from a gray mood or a disappointed attitude. The best thing I think I can do at this time is pray to help me leave my friends to their own pace.
I heard a phrase once; “Love means you have no expectation of your friends' emotional, mental, physical, or spiritual development. That's it. No expectations. I've had the hardest time with this until I began letting go of my expectations, druthers, judgments and began going with the flow. This doesn't mean I 'don't stay conscious of my responses and responsibilities. “Hanging out” doesn't mean relinquishing self-respect, integrity, and personal boundaries. It does mean being open to possibilities and deciding to relinquish control by letting others have a say in what they want to do – or eat – or watch – or play.
When I can do this, I'm always amazed at what I learn, what new music or thoughts I hear, what different foods I get to eat. It's enlivening, like climbing out of a rut and looking at possibilities as endless as the horizon in Montana. Life actually gets creative, and I benefit so much for having let go of the rudder of the life boat. It's like co-creating the day's experiences, and I feel blessed. My hands are no longer tied over any issue. I don't have to push my agenda, and, what do you know, but my going with the flow seems to help others feel empowered, brings smiles to their faces. We have a shared relationship.
Instead of FOOEY, life becomes WHAHOOEY!
What is occurring to me is best stated with the curious slang word, “Fooey!” It seems to me to be a contraction of FOOL ME! That's what I've decided I've been doing: Fooling Myself.
Granted, I might have some impact on a person or persons around me. I can give temporary relief from a gray mood or a disappointed attitude. The best thing I think I can do at this time is pray to help me leave my friends to their own pace.
I heard a phrase once; “Love means you have no expectation of your friends' emotional, mental, physical, or spiritual development. That's it. No expectations. I've had the hardest time with this until I began letting go of my expectations, druthers, judgments and began going with the flow. This doesn't mean I 'don't stay conscious of my responses and responsibilities. “Hanging out” doesn't mean relinquishing self-respect, integrity, and personal boundaries. It does mean being open to possibilities and deciding to relinquish control by letting others have a say in what they want to do – or eat – or watch – or play.
When I can do this, I'm always amazed at what I learn, what new music or thoughts I hear, what different foods I get to eat. It's enlivening, like climbing out of a rut and looking at possibilities as endless as the horizon in Montana. Life actually gets creative, and I benefit so much for having let go of the rudder of the life boat. It's like co-creating the day's experiences, and I feel blessed. My hands are no longer tied over any issue. I don't have to push my agenda, and, what do you know, but my going with the flow seems to help others feel empowered, brings smiles to their faces. We have a shared relationship.
Instead of FOOEY, life becomes WHAHOOEY!
Thursday, May 6, 2010
My Biggest Current Challenge
My biggest most recent challenge is learning to keep my mouth shut.
I've had opinions about everything ever since I started talking. I remember having answers for everyone's problems in school. In fact, if I didn't get asked my advice by at least one person a day, I felt crushed in high school. The same held true in junior college and nursing school. As a young married woman in Denver, our circle of friends were those who seemed to need my helpful hints. In Germany too! Why, I was always dishing out my thoughts on marriage, motherhood, and military life.
As a divorcee and working single mom, I dispensed even more words of wisdom and made it my business to offer my opinion to co-workers and etceteras.
I even built a personal practice on giving advice to my clients on wellness, particularly theirs . . . that is . . . until recently.
The last few years have seen me begin a shift to helping clients answer their own questions about what might make them happy and healthy. I've had an epiphany of sorts. I've been so busy minding everyone else's business that I realized I hadn't been paying attention to my own. Now much of my advice to the love lorn or those with other problems comes in the form of sensing when they've found an answer that resonates in their bodies. I can validate their feelings and dreams. I'm proud I've been able to make this change with my clients.
Then there are the current questions friends are asking. I'm trying not to tackle these decisions about job opportunities or choice of husbands. I'm allowing my ready answers to stutter into nothingness while I offer back only encouragement. It's also become imperative I stay out of my grown children's lives, whether my heart breaks because I would like them to consider options they refuse to see or I want to warn them about potential dangers or failures.
I'm trying to keep my mouth shut, but I'm not being as successful as I want to be. I need to find the place of balance where my mouth remains in a gentle smile, while prayers filter through the chambers of my mind and heart with hope that the consequences of their actions will be things they and I can handle.
I've had opinions about everything ever since I started talking. I remember having answers for everyone's problems in school. In fact, if I didn't get asked my advice by at least one person a day, I felt crushed in high school. The same held true in junior college and nursing school. As a young married woman in Denver, our circle of friends were those who seemed to need my helpful hints. In Germany too! Why, I was always dishing out my thoughts on marriage, motherhood, and military life.
As a divorcee and working single mom, I dispensed even more words of wisdom and made it my business to offer my opinion to co-workers and etceteras.
I even built a personal practice on giving advice to my clients on wellness, particularly theirs . . . that is . . . until recently.
The last few years have seen me begin a shift to helping clients answer their own questions about what might make them happy and healthy. I've had an epiphany of sorts. I've been so busy minding everyone else's business that I realized I hadn't been paying attention to my own. Now much of my advice to the love lorn or those with other problems comes in the form of sensing when they've found an answer that resonates in their bodies. I can validate their feelings and dreams. I'm proud I've been able to make this change with my clients.
Then there are the current questions friends are asking. I'm trying not to tackle these decisions about job opportunities or choice of husbands. I'm allowing my ready answers to stutter into nothingness while I offer back only encouragement. It's also become imperative I stay out of my grown children's lives, whether my heart breaks because I would like them to consider options they refuse to see or I want to warn them about potential dangers or failures.
I'm trying to keep my mouth shut, but I'm not being as successful as I want to be. I need to find the place of balance where my mouth remains in a gentle smile, while prayers filter through the chambers of my mind and heart with hope that the consequences of their actions will be things they and I can handle.
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